Resident Evil 2: The Apocalypse... of my sanity!!!

Title:
Resident Evil 2: The Apocalypse (B-)
PH Release Date:
September 29, 2004
Actors:
Milla Jovovich, Sienna Guillory, Mike Epps, Jared Harris
Director:
Alexander Witt
Story & Screenplay:
Based on Capcom game; Paul W.S Anderson
Cinematography:
Christian Sebaldt
Producer:
Paul W.S. Anderson et al.
Studio:
Constantin Films and Sony

My name is Riddler, and I remember everything, and I mean everything!

Milla Jovovich is back in the big screen as Alice, not from Wonderland, but from Raccoon City. Kicking off where the first movie left off, Alice awoke and found out that the virus have spread all over the city. She then explores the ruins of the city and found Jill Valentine (the bida in the videogame series) and together they searched for Angela. They faced Nemesis and the bloody story just keeps going on and on and the one-hour and a half felt like the infinity of utter nausea.

I am not a big fan of videogames the only games I got addicted to were Bust a groove (I would never ever runaway—freezin’!!!) and Red Alert (building…). Aside from those two, I consider video games as a mere waste of time (okay, here comes the death threats). So if I didn’t see the first installment of this hopefully not 3-part series, I would have had no idea what this movie was suppose to be all about, but I do, and it sucks!

I like Resident Evil, I thought it was edgy and not so Hollywood in some ways. It’s hard kicking and intense plus it was well written and the ending was good. And of course Michelle Rodriguez was there. I didn’t have high expectations for this movie and I’m glad that I didn’t cuz If I did you’ll consider this review discreet.

I was trying to recall where I heard the name Paul W.S Anderson when it hit me, yah, the writer and director of “whoever watches, they lose”! How can I forget? I’ve got to say he’s pretty good in making bad sci-fi movies.

Milla Jovovich and Sienna Guillory were the only things that glued me on my seat, if not for them I would have asked for my money back. The movie was so exaggerated, too perverted and completely annoying. It’s bad writing at it’s finest. It was so bad that your most absurd predictions actually happen on screen. The twists and the turns were totally riffed and there’s no untying it. I’ll give you one sample and tell me if it ain’t just plain idiocy. They were trying to runaway from the zombies and their next stop was…. You got it! The cemetery! How stupid can that be!!! And suddenly from only getting infected through contact and transmission, it became dead walks the earth? What the fuck was that all about!!! I’m way way way smarter than that!!!!!!!!!!!

Aside from the bad writing, bad direction was also a problem in this movie. You can also add bad editing and bad music just to make the recipe right. My head was spinning in some of the fight scenes and it was painful! And Mike Epps infuriating presence in the screen aint helping at all! His jokes were like something my great grandpa (as if I’ve met him) would say in the middle of a Bingo game.

So let’s review the recipe to make a bad sequel, first get a bad writer, then choose a bad director, afterwards, get a bad editor, a bad musician and bad supporting actors and everything will turn out as appalling as you designed it to be. Please, if you wanna maintain your sanity, stay away from this movie, watch Fahrenheit 9/11, it will certainly test your brain cells. It’s a bad Hollywood movie (even if it ain’t from Hollywood). And in this movie, evil truly resides.