Catwoman: the worst comic-book based movie ever made....

Title:
Catwoman (C+)
PH Release Date:
July 28, 2004
Actors:
Halle Berry, Benjamin Bratt, Sharon Stone, Frances Conroy, Lambert Wilson
Director:
Pitof
Story & Screenplay:
Based on DC Comics by Bob Kane; Screen Story by Theresa Rebeck, John Brancato and Michael Ferns; Screenplay by John Brancato, Michael Ferns and Jon Roges
Editor / Music:
Sylvie Landra / Klaus Badelt
Design / Photography:
Bill Brzeski / Therryar Bogast
Producer:
Densedi Novi and Edward L. McDonnell
Studio:
20th Century Fox

“The day that I wrote this, was the day that I started reading it” – Halle Dewberry

The fiery Halle “marry me” Berry is back in the big screen and this time she’s taking the role of Patience Philips a.k.a. Catwoman (meow!!!). She died when she found out her company’s secret, brought to life by Midnight (that’s the name of the cat), fell for a detective who’s up to stop her alter ego from “disturbing” the city. She faced the marble-faced Sharon STONE (how uncanny), and of course, she won against her. The projector stopped, then I realized that I just saw possibly the worst comic book based movie ever made (deposed the Hulk).

I swear to your God that I didn’t plan to see this movie right after I found out that it only took $16 M at the US box office on it’s opening weekend leaving it at no. 3 behind I, robot and the $56M grossing Bourne movie (which I want to see pretty badly). However, I didn’t have any choice since the only movies released this week were this one, an Anne Hathaway “Hallmark” movie and an “Ace of Base” movie (think!!!!). So I didn’t have any choice, and besides, I wanted to see Berry on leather. I guess there’s nothing wrong with that, except the entire movie was if yah know what I mean).

The first 5 minutes of the movie was good, the voice over was kinda comical but you’d barely remember that (except I did), then, the director showed off some really good camera exhibitions to which I was astonished during the beginning but then the movie went on and man, did it became arduous to digest. I was confused, I don’t know whether I was watching a music video (the basketball scene with Scandalous as background and so on and so fort), a full movie trailer or an episode of Smallville cuz it’s nothing more than a mind-numbing introduction to a not so interesting character to start with (Superman is interesting though).

I didn’t have high hopes that it will be as good as Spiderman but at least for it to be faithful to the comic book (as if I’ve read it), or be close to it. I thought the story was embellished in many ways. Although I like the metaphor of actions in this movie, when Patience cut her hair after she accepted her new life (that is so not a girl thing) that was wise use of symbolism, however, besides that the movie was consistently wooly from start to finish. Details are very important to attain satisfactory storytelling but I doubt it whether they even thought about it. I guess it’s really tough to do a decent storytelling if the story isn’t worth telling.

The director of this movie must have been an amateur with film making cuz it was so stylized that the essence of the movie was left off. It was pure style no substance, it was pleasing to the eyes in the beginning but it horribly sucked in the end.

Halle Berry did okay in this one, despite being tamed in such a bad material, she managed to pull it off just fine. But I doubt whether Tom Lone (Bratt) did the same, I never liked him as an actor (how could he dump Julia), and I highly doubt it that I ever will. He’s completely not the leading man material and he’s so tedious to watch. Frances Conroy was exactly like her character in Six Feet Under, from top to bottom. And of course, Sharon Stone who I think is still stunningly young-looking for her age, (maybe that’s why she’s too stupid when it comes to taking roles) was as bland as her hair color.

Bad Direction, bad writing, bad sound, and mediocre acting, not so much to rave for, but if you like Halle go see this movie, just don’t anticipate a new soon-to-franchise type of flick, for if cats leave mark with their paws, this one didn’t left any.