Santa Santita --- am not a saint to let this one pass

Title:
Santa Santita (B-)
PH Release Date:
November 17, 2004
Actors:
Angelica Panganiban, Jericho Rosales, Johnny Delgado, Hilda Koronel, Cherry Pie Picache
Director:
Laurice Guillen
Story & Screenplay:
Jerry Gracio, Michiko Yamamoto, Johnny Delgado
Editor / Music:
Efren Jarlego / Vincent de Jesus
Design / Photography:
Edgar Littaua / Lee Meily
Producer:
Tony Gloria, Laurice Guillen
Studio:
Unitel Pictures

“Kaya nga Malen ang pangalan niyan eh, kasi malandi yan --- ah! Kaya pala Mapog ang pinangalan sakin ng magulang ko, now I know!”


Panganiban plays the “daring” wannabe woman Malen, who up to know I have no idea what age she’s suppose to be playin’, and whose blunder is that? Definitely not mine! And I also wonder whether it’s just a coincidence that her name almost became Malena, the movie that starred Monica Bellucci that dealt with the harrowing experience of a lady. She lives with her mother Chayong played by Hilda Koronel which if I am not mistaken, which I rarely am, is the same name of her character in Crying Ladies which was also produced by Unitel. Tony Gloria must have really fallen in love with that name; maybe it’s his mother’s name. Chayong works as a prayerer* and Malen seemingly out of school works as a vendor of anik-anik**. Malen meets Mike played by Jericho Rosales, who works as a rent-a-car driver. They met and they fell in lust. Delgado played an alcoholic, a sickness common to all priest, I mean they don’t miss drinkin’ during a mass right? And Cherry Pie Picache plays the scabies-doomed nun. Their lives got mixed up in this theater-like movie that questions the practice of a faith believed by many.


Just when I thought my craving for new skin will finally be satisfied, it just didn’t happen. Well, everything they said about this movie, is not that true. Let’s play a game shall we. You answer this on your head whether it’s true or false.

Angelica showed a lot of flesh in this movie and that she was a revelation in this movie. Well, true, she did, flesh that you can usually see from a Sharapova tennis match. I was expecting piglike flesh, oh, that was mean! I mean piglike that she ain’t wearin' anything besides her skin. She was indeed a revelation in this movie, she exposed that she can’t consistently act well and needs a lot more workshops. She’s not yet ripe for the role and she couldn’t carry it. If she’s size 12, this is supersize. It was like Babe trying to do the role of Ms. Piggy isn’t that odd? And am I not just the meanest bastard you’ve ever met?

It supposedly won an award for it’s writing, this I am not sure, but I am certain that it has got to be not for its script. It must have been the play or whatever it was based on but definitely not this precipitated string of one-liners. A lot of the lines were so lame and cheesy and is so well thought off that it’s too unnatural. In the scene where Jericho was talking to Johnny, my ears automatically shut-off because of the aberrant exchange of dialogues. The classic altercation scene that can only be found in Philippine movies is invigorated in this movie. The scene wherein Hilda and Angelica were fighting and the latter said something offensive to her mother and the next thing you know, that bitch gets the slapping she deserves. And then Angelica ran inside the bathroom crying, leaving her mom outside the door suppliant to her daughter to forgive her. Isn’t that just so innovative?

Laurice Guillen did a fantastic job. True, if we’re talking about making a play like movie. It felt nothing but a theater act. It was so theatre in a lot of ways, and it was not just because of the script but also due to the direction. Guillen has this funny style of making a scene very intimate while gyrating around it. Take for example the confrontation scene in Tanging Yaman, where Edu Manzano and Johnny Delgado’s character fought. The same technique was used in the movie specifically during the climax. I loved her work in Tanging Yaman but in this movie, she could have explored more. She was so boxed on a style that emerged affected.

Jericho Rosales deserves an award for his acting and is the future Christopher de Leon. False and False. First of all I was beyond delighted to finally hear him speaking in Tagalog and not in his trying-hard English accent. When people ask him in Tagalog he keeps on speaking in English as if he’s obliged to do so, and consistently makes mistake and appear stupid to everyone. Jericho’s acting in this movie was, well, good enough for me. His strongest scene was when he got arrested, he exhibited great acting feat on that one, very natural, very real, unlike the rest of his OA scenes. He’s far from being a Christopher de Leon and he need to know that what he thinks as strong and emotional approach that he does is actually a funny and irritating style.

Hilda, Johnny and Cherry gave outstanding support. True, true and true. Hilda Koronel is one of those veteran actresses who don’t need to do anything at all but you still find them brilliant. That goes for Johnny and Cherry Pie as well. The confrontation scene between Hilda and Angelica, though I find it uncalled for, she shined on that scene. Johnny Delgado is possibly one of the scariest actors around. He got this certain style that is like Denzel Washington in nature, smooth but very effective. This is what Jericho needs to learn. Cherry Pie is the usual Cherry Pie, great and fabulous, and she lost a lot of weight, and that’s what Angelica needs to do.

It’s a must-see! Can be considered true if you consider seeing Madam Auring in bikinis a must-see, if you think otherwise then stay the hell out of it. The best way to describe this movie is that it was premature and inconsistent. Angelica was premature, the script was hurried, Angelica and Jericho were both fickle, the phasing gets tedious sometimes, and it gets a little boring. It just can’t grasp the audience because it confuses them of what the movie really is. It was like just a theater play and nothing else. Though the photography and editing were great, it still felt too theatrical.

If you’re looking for steamy scenes, this is not the movie for you. The only thing that went steamy at some point was Jericho’s tongue. If you’re expecting a movie in the level of Himala, you’re wrong again, it’s just a notch higher than Lito Lapid’s God save the babies! It was a commendable effort, being able to shoot on such a difficult location like Quiapo, but what would be more commendable is if they actually told something that I never heard before or shown something I’ve never seen before. Because as far as I’m concerned this was just a collage of previously heard ideas about the iniquitous questions of faith.

* a person who give praying sevices as devotion or way of living
** accesories