Birth... of Bad Art Films.

Title:
Birth (B-.... almost C+)
PH Release Date:
December 8, 2004
Actors:
Nicole Kidman, Cameron Bright, Danny Houston, Lauren Bacall, Allison Elliot, Anne Heche
Director:
Jonathan Glazer
Story & Screenplay:
Jean Claude-Carrere et al.
Editor / Music:
San Sneade Elal / Alexandre Desplat
Design / Photography:
Kevin Thompson / Harris Savides
Producer:
Jean-Loius Piel and Nick Morris
Studio:
New Line Cinema

She wished her husband would come back from the dead. Now he is back ß and this shit’s the most pathetic tagline I’ve ever read….

The controversy surrounding the movie drove me into watching it. Not that I regret seeing it because Nicole is in it, but I could have waited for the video instead. The poor production, poor direction, poor writing made this movie not more than poor at all.

Ana (Kidman) is a widow who’s ready to move on to a better life; an unsullied start with her fiancée until Sean came along. Sean was Ana’s beloved husband, but this Sean is a glum tiny boy who claims to be the re-embodiment of her late spouse. Ana’s deeming, her fiancée has gone berserk, her sister’s incredulous and everyone else is perplexed. Is Sean really Sean or is it nothing but a hoax marshaled by a feeble boy?

The trailer of this movie is very interesting, and the buzz that surrounds it convinced me even more to see it. Nicole Kidman on a hot tub with a little boy seemed to me a once in a lifetime movie spectacle. I was that excited that I was the first person inside the cinema on its opening day! Who said I lack enthusiasm? Only to find out, that it’ll sidle as one of the biggest disappointments this year.

One rule in moviemaking (as if I’ve taken any lesson) is to keep your audience thinking. Persist them to speculate. This movie failed to do that. It’s as predictable as Paris Hilton’s “that’s hot” or Melanie Marquez’s cerebrum malfunction. They present an idea and your initial guess will actually turn up accurate. It’s either the writing was really bad or I’m just really morphing into intellectual enormity. You pick the best answer.

An ultimate chestnut will best describe this movie for an art movie buff. The only novelty you’ll find is the concept, which I honestly thought is extremely hard to support. I suppose that’s why this movie failed oh so despondently. The idea is so delicate that the director was too timid to innovate or to experiment. He just resolute in keeping it as haunting, dark and gloomy as possible. And it did just that.

I am petrified by the unparalleled stupidity of the photographer of this movie. I have not seen that many boom mike in my entire movie career (keep that brow where it’s ought to be). A few minutes more and I could have considered it as a mere advertisement. Showing different sizes, shapes and even fur covers. And mind you, from time to time it’s in the entire scene as if it’s a crucial part of the act. In the latter part of this movie it became just that: the central theme of the whole scene, and the people anticipate for it’s next non-cameo appearance.

The only saving grace of this movie is the acting part. They’re fortunate that Nicole despite her status, accepted to wonderfully portray the woman in solitude and bewilderment. Though her acting ain’t as great as her Academy-Award winning portrayal of Virginia Woolf, it’s good enough for her to swipe a nod this year, but fellow Nicolettes, let’s not expect, keep in mind that we were snubbed last year. The kid, who at his very young age is typecast in ghost-related roles, gave a terrific, tremendously plausible depiction. Almost beating my favorite “Toshi-yo”!!! Anne Heche also featured some brilliance despite her fleeting stints.

As a fan of Nicole, see this movie simply because she is in it. Don’t expect great things from it; just enjoy her new “do”. For regular people (supersize included), before seeing it, make sure you are psychologically capable of accepting the fact that you threw away 70 pesos. If that won’t make you sleep at night, then stay away from this movie. It ain’t born for most people to see, and you seeing it, won’t pave way to the birth of good feedbacks…