Enteng Kabisote, Okay ka Fairy ko: The Forgettable Legend

Title:
Enteng Kabisote, Okay ka Fairy Ko: The Legend (C)
PH Release Date:
December 25, 2004
Actors:
Vic Sotto, Kristine Hermosa, Oyo Boy Sotto, Aiza Seguerra, Michael V., Bing Loyzaga, G. Toengi, Ruby Rodriguez, Jose Manalo
Director:
Tony Reyes
Producer:
Vic Sotto
Studio:
Octo-Arts and M-Zet



"Although it’s true that comedy films are unlikely to win Best Picture, Actor or Actress, I always ensure that mine have good values to impart to kids"
– Vic Sotto

These words may be true but I doubt that it is enough for me to consider this movie good. The dull storyline, the bad direction and the awful casting just made this movie the biggest ruse I’ve seen this year.

Satana (Loyzaga), queen of darkness, sent her agents to earth to carry out her evil plans but her celebration was cut short when the agents of Enkantasya stopped them. Fiery and seeking revenge, she spills her wrath on the Kabisotes. Enteng (V. Sotto) must now find a way to save his wife Faye (Hermosa), the daughter of Ina Magenta (Toengi) who holds the power Satana greatly desires. Before he does he must first successfully pass the path to Kadiliman together with his son Onyok (O. Sotto) and Itim (Michael V), who used to be Satana’s right hand. Will Enteng be able to arrive just in time to save Faye and stop the queen’s evil plans?

This by-product of the phenomenal TV show during the 90’s has a really promising trailer. This lured me into watching the movie, which my basic instinct told me to stay clearly out of. And just like I expected, the comedic scenes I saw in the full trailer were almost exactly just the same scenes you can find in the entire movie. And it’s no longer as funny, because I’ve heard and seen them before.

The movie was friggin’ tiring!!! Dragging and completely exhausting!!! The pacing was so slow that you’ll consider riding a kiddie bike the ultimate rush! It was going nowhere. They kept on introducing the characters that the audience ended up not really knowing who these characters were. They dwelled too much on the superfluous comedy that they ended up losing their audience. They inhabited the nonsense drama, which made it far more crazy and exasperating.

The direction can be simply describe as an ambitious visual attempt that lead to the crash of a could have been better storytelling. Yeah, motion-control camera does wonder on the screen but how come it seemed to have been unable to save this falling legend? The storytelling is like relevant clauses inside a complex sentence without conjunction to connect them.

Another major oops in this movie was the casting. Who the hell thought of casting Kristine Hermosa as a 30+ woman???? And how stupid can this actress get to actually accept such a role? The next thing you know she’s playing Cory Aquino on her 50’s. What, is she running out of offers? Is she just such a huge fan of the series that she’ll play anyone even if that means being a mother to someone almost her age, just to be a part of it??? And she’s not the only one who seemed to have been adrift, who the f*** hired G. Toengi thinking to play the role of Ina Magenta? I mean, c’mon she’s stealing jobs from Nova Villa and the like. Is Hollywood just to hard for Toengi to penetrate that she’ll play the non penetratable (if there is such a term)? I just don’t get these casting mishaps. I just don’t!

The visual is the only saving grace of this movie. Without it, the producers can say bye-bye to their P35M and cry their way to the new year. One of Jeffrey Quizon’s scenes was very impressive that I thought might just be the start of a really good movie experience. Though I can frankly say that the movie’s visual effects is still behind Charmed’s, I just won’t, to give this movie some undeserved credit.

If you’re a Filipino, delimited by the OPM (Original Pinoy Movies) around you, be smart enough to take my advice: Stay Away from this Movie!!!! It’s enough that you know a lot of kiddo’s or family will opt to see this movie. Be not one of those thinking being who’ll make such an obvious mistake of seeing this one. I believe it is necessary that we support Filipino movies, so go ahead and watch something else. There are 7 more to choose from and hopefully they’re not magically cursed like this one.