i'm a star in a million----- not!

*this is the first draft, i believe the emotions are more within an article if it was written just like this: flowing and smoothly done, no inhibitions, no conceptualization, just plain storytelling....

Ei, guys… wazzup? This was one hell of a week…. The classes started and well, there’s only one way to describe it---sucks!!! And then, I was all busy burning stuff and counseling a friend of mine, yah, u read that ryt.. me psycho in action… anyways, and last Friday, some of yah know, and some of yah don’t.. I auditioned for star in a million, I don’t expect that I’ll get in cuz I mean, I’m not that much of an artistahing-artistahin (I’m just artistahin), when I finally got there I was last in line before we went to the studio, but then, as we kill the time waiting for the judge, more people came by, I was no. 32, and we reached, I think up to 75… which is a small number compared to the other audition days… they usually balloon to 150 or more… one guy caught my eye cuz he’s very tall (I think he’s 6 or so) and he was very white (all the things I want to be) and he looks foreign, I found out that he’s name was Tom, Tommura Matsuoka (I wonder if I got that right) he was very funny and all, I said to some of them, that if this guy can sing, I mean nothing special, if he can just carry a tune, he’ll surely get in…. Vanessa (one of the friends I made, she’s pretty, 16, nice Amy Lee voice, 2nd time to audition, passed 2nd screening of Pinoy Pop Star) said he can really sing,, that’s one down.. I dunno how many to go, she added that the first time she tried out, they were 140 of them, and only 7 people got in.
Then the judge came, her name was Catre (I just assumed so cuz the plug said so), she was really bubbly and all, which some of the auditioneez find weird (some of the people there where on their 2nd, 3rd and so on audition) cuz she’s usually very snobbish and stuck-up, so I thought that’s a nice thing….
She even sang a couple of 60’s and 80’s sounding songs, and she even sang If I Ain’t Got You (beautiful song) by Alicia Keys, which really calmed me… and she talks like Tuesday…. She was so funny… so after that chat yah kinda feel okay and tranquil but when the audition started, the nerves started to reemerge.. slowly… and when you get the chance to hear some of them sing, god, it makes you really anxious… most of those I heard are really good, a couple were so so but a good no. of them we’re really good, it’s too bad most of them look like katulongs or probinsiyano, I remember a couple of them were from Zamboanga, and they sounded almost the same, they both have wedding singers’ voice but they look like farmers…. And then, I hear one of the prettiest girl I met that day, her name was Kina (I didn’t get her last name, she’s pretty, white, 5’5 or so and very quiet and oh she loves her BF very much), and my god, she sang that Saigon song On my Own (if that’s the title) and she sounded like a Broadway veteran.. I swear to your Gods she was just brilliant, astounding… impeccable. She was the best one I heard among the 10 people I listened to. And they made her sing one more song, I assumed they did so cuz they wanna here if she can sing contemporary songs and she sang Sunlight and she was just whoah!!! I wanna marry you Lea Salonga!!!
When I was nearing my turn I was a little nervous… I tried to look as confident, with my shades on I thought they can’t see just how panic I am inside… and I decided to sing in Acapella cuz the intro on my tape is too long, I sang Lately by Stevie Wonder, and I think it sounded good enough, although I just have no idea what’s going on while I was singing… you see them looking at you, you try to look away, and then you see the camera aimed at you, you go the other way, and then you see yourself in the screen, you shy away, and then you remember you are performing and you hit that last high note and you nailed it and they say thank you and God, was I so relieved…. At least I didn’t sang out of tune, before I went out, one of them said, “para kang may XO sa lalamunan” cuz of the coldness and huskiness in my voice… after that I ought to wait… and then, I saw another girl, she was so pretty, she was no. 74 and I said to the guy in front of me if this girl can sing just in the right notes, she’ll get in….
I went there at 1… and the auditioned ended at abut 6pm or so… I felt no hunger. I felt thirsty a lot of times… went back and forth to the bathroom I think almost 10 times…. but what I found really strange is that, it didn’t felt like a competition, we’re like all buddies… and for the first time, I didn’t feel so weird being such a schizo music addict.. cuz most of us are.. I saw Tom singing by himself with full expression and stuff and we laughed at him and he was all smile… I thought to myself, wow, I’m not that weird,… I feel normal... not ordinary but normal when I’m with them... the passion for music brought us all together and it has magic that’s just untold…. It was phenomenal… we were even singing altogether and laughing, and even made cheap highschool teasing… it’s just exceptional….
When, the judgment time came, we went back to the studio, and I really wasn’t expecting that I’ll get in, but I was hoping but not expecting… and I was right…. I was cut…. And guess how many people got in, 3, Tom (no. 1), Kina (no. 24) and the no. 74 girl, I said I knew it… I totally did… and I knew exactly what they were looking for… they all said they’re so lucky cuz Tom and Kina are both first timers and they both got in…. most of the people who auditions gets in on their nth time…. I guess they just have the IT factor…. I congratulated them both, I asked Kina’s no, and at first she was a little skeptical cuz her BF is a jealous freak…. and I said don’t worry, I’m just going to be the president of your fans club…. And I’m not gonna steal you away from your boh, unless of course you’re attracted to me too.. he..he…, and she gave it to me…. Then, I saw Tom, and I said don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll get in, you already have 1 vote from Fritz Ynfante and he just laughed and gave me a high five, and oh, earlier we measured up each other’s hand and man, mine was like ¾ of his….. it was funny… her mom was very nice and thanked us… and me and two more guys just headed home…
This is one of the best experiences I’ve ever had.. if there is such thing as a good first audition without getting the part.. this will be it… and will I be doing it again… I will not divest myself of that chance….

spiderman 2... one of the best sequels yet....

Title:
Spiderman 2 (A)
Actors:
Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, James Franco, Alfred Molina,
J. K. Simmons
Writer/Director:
Alvin Sargent / Sam Raimi

“With great gift, comes great responsibility”--- that’s why I’m taking my writing stuff seriously. I’m your hero--- and yah know it!
One of the most anticipated movies this summer has finally landed on our soil, 20 hours earlier than the land of the blonde, blue-eyed and white: Spidy, and so all the hungry moviegoers on this side of the planet came out of their stingy webs to see him back in action, and I’m one of them.
I can hardly believe how the number turned out on its first day. It was the first screening and all seats are taken (except mine, I’m special). No wonder, not a single outfit was brave enough to release their movies. All you can see left showing, are movies that grossed (shockingly!) last manila film festival, the chronicles of whomever and a reissue of the Bride that kills. But next week leftover goodies will be shown, from mean girls (I love Lindsay!) to the conclusion of the bride that kills (not the bride of chucky you stupid prick, I mean freak!)
Anyways, going back to the web-slinger, I would like to point out that this review is not from a comic fan’s point of view (yeah right), I’ve never read a single Marvel comic of this title but I did watch the series so I have a pretty good idea how the story was suppose to go.
On this one, our hero had what we heroes suffer on at one point of our great lives: a hero’s breakdown or simply put, an identity crisis (I can still remember mine); he starts to “lose” his powers opted to quit. A new villain has also arrived it’s Dr. Octopus (it should be quarterpus, he only got 4 robotic whatevers) and the next villain has also been implied, I won’t say who it is cuz I might ruin it for you, all I know is that it’s the one who has the worst taste in color, he wears green metal thingys, he rides on his green rocketling (now this one’s cool) and he’s as giddy as Diana deGarmo (tough clues ei?).
Well, all I can say is our friendly neighborhood spidy has never been this cool. I love this one. It’s definitely much better than the first one, it’s funny, it’s light and more appealing. You feel the character more, there was honesty and sincerity. The director was able to develop Peter Parker (Maguire) without being so histrionic, and that made it more attractive. He experimented with his shots, made some funny choice of it, but it was entertaining. And this is what the first movie lacked; they anticipated that the moviegoers would no longer be as ecstatic as they with the web action and so they thought of ways to make it more winning, and they succeeded, with swinging colors.
The acting was pretty much the same, but I thought Tobey really embodied Spiderman very well. There’s just this certain arrive of his acting that makes it so him. Kirsten was just a breath of fresh air, from the sewers! She always appears greasy and man, wasn’t that “kiss me” scene just droll. James Franco, was I don’t know how you’ll say it ah, yes, nauseating, he’s just OA plus his character is really not that likeable, so that adds more to the irritation.
The effects were great, and the sound was fantastic. The editing was cool but they were still a couple of shots that was a little inapt like the escape-from-the-blowing-house-on- the-sea scene, I didn’t like that. And so does that Jonah Jameson (Simmons) character that I thought was a little too OA. I know he’s infuriating, but I never thought he’s as irksome as that. Was he as dire in the comics?
Again I would like to point out (to the dumb ones who can’t understand) that this is from a non-comic reader point of view. I cannot say whether it was faithful or not to the original story but all I know is that this movie will give enjoyment to whoever watches it. So go, fall in line and get yourself killed.

naglalayag....... silent passage.....

Title:
Naglalayag (A-)
Actors:
Nora Aunor, Yul Servo, Aleck Bovick, Jaclyn Jose, Celia Rodriguez, Chanda Romero
Writer/Director:
Irma Dimaranan / Maryo J. de los Reyes

You can say it, you don’t want to? Okay, I’ll say it---BADUY!!! You cool now? Well, first of all I have to cite the reasons why on earth I watched this movie (as if I have to, of course I have to you dumbass, I don’t wanna be labeled baduy, not me!), there are 3 reasons: first, I was given a free movie pass, what do you expect me to do with it? Of course I’ll use it (and you’ll ask why not give it to somebody else, continue reading psycho). Second, the movie won the “coveted” Best Picture award last ____day, of the Manila Film Festival (so prestigious, where can you see an actor in a lead role win as supporting actor, that’s the dumbest shit ever, only in the Philippines). That implies that it is a good film, possibly the best, possibly worth watching. And lastly, after I saw Spiderman 2 that day (go see it! So cool!), it was raining pretty hard and I have no umbrella (I’d rather die than carry one, except when it’s sunny), so that leaves me no choice than to kill time, I’m short of cash to hail a cab and absolutely to go shop, so I decided to go see the movie. See, they are very fine raison d'être why I watched the movie (except the last one, I just made it up, what? I have to make it three, it’s lucky).

On with the show, it was……… good, and I mean that (I swear to your whoever’s grave). It was far, far, far, far, far (wherever you are) better than Sabel. I thought the story may not appear as unique to Westerns, but to us, it’s a little inimitable. The screenplay was very well written, somewhere in that movie I felt like I was watching Hable con Ella once again, there’s this realness in the script that makes it so admirable, so sincere and so connecting. It hits you well and leaves a smile. I must admit though, that most of the time I was smiling cuz I was so disgusted by what I see (hello! Nora kissing another human being, say it with me, GROSS!).

Aunor’s acting was commendable enough, definitely much better than (your idol) Juday. That peaceful-almost-kinda-dreary-acting-that-ends-with-a-bang, of her still works. She deserves the Best Actress award. Yul was, well, Yul. It was like the character was written based on him, it was like made entirely for him. His character was very affable, his smile just adds more to the enjoyment of the viewers (where else can you see a person as frivolous, right me!) I won’t say that he was the most deserving, but he was a good enough choice. Aleck was nothing but an embellishment (for guys--- and oh lesbians!) in this movie, (she strips were happy, she acts, oh man, just strip again) and I hope she does well next time (yeah right!). The biggest accolade for acting deserves to go to Jaclyn Jose, her character was one of the most real characters ever made in Philippine cinema. She was rarely shown, but when she’s in a scene you won’t end up ignoring her, cuz she’ll just make you laugh your head off (heads for the guys). She was just an embodiment of a typical Pinoy mother, you rarely agree with her, but you sympathize, and she just did a wonderful portrayal. I’d say it was a neck-and-neck battle between her and Sunshine Dizon, but she grabbed the best supporting actress trophy anyway.

I have to warn you though that the last ¼ of the movie was a little tedious, and I really didn’t like it. I thought it was pretty silly. Nonetheless, it was a good picture, de los Reyes adds another gem to his works, and he did a find job, considering the fact that it was rushed. And oh, the editing was okay. The music though was hideous; they kept on playing that Bituin Escalante song (they should have picked Mahal’s songs). Speaking of the little alcoholic (the nerves!!!), I’m dead serious about this one, they were a few times that I really thought I was watching Mahal rather than Nora. It was so funny.

This movie will make a great barkada movie. You won’t be bored. You’ll laugh, you’ll feel remorse and disgusted but at the end of it, there’s a lesson---- that watching Nora these days, is like seeing Mahal a few inches taller.

*Please don’t buy pirated vcd’s… it kills…. You are inhibiting the future writers/directors and etc. from getting work. Respect Intellectual Property Rights. (oh, I sounded like Bong Revilla, the hell with it, just don’t buy em.)

kawawang sabel.....

Title:
Sabel
Actors:
Judy Ann Santos, Wendell Ramos, Iza Calzado, Sunshine Dizon, Rio Locsin
Writer/Director:
Ricky Lee / Joel Lamangan

I know what you’re thinking, God! I’m so baduy…. Watching a Juday movie on its first day of showing, so katutz… well, I know and believe me, I seriously bemoaned it.

The only reason I watched this movie, and this is real (like 10% of the things I say), was because of Joel Lamangan, I watch almost every movie he made (Bugbog Sarado and the likes, I missed Hubog though), not because they’re brilliant but just because I think he’s one of the most in-demand directors today in our country, which means that he’ll probably come out with a really good film and I thought maybe this movie will be it, despite the fact that the queen of baduys has the starring role.

Okay, now I’ll stop making excuses bout why I watched a Judy Ann movie, I think you get the picture (recopy it if you like). Let’s see what the movie has in store.

Well, first, substandard acting from the two lead actors, namely everyone’s idol: Juday; and the man who looked like a buffed gingerbread man (I just can’t get over Shrek 2) in this movie: Wendell. There was only one scene when I thought that Judy could actually act, and 40 minutes or so left, I thought she was unsightly. And Wendell, he should stick with being a model because acting isn’t definitely for him. He’s not very bad, or ugly he’s just dreadful (and that’s understating it). The outburst scene was just hilarious, instead of feeling bad for the character you’ll go “Excuse me, I’ll just take a 1 hour pee break”, cuz there ain’t nothing to see alright.

That was my thought, right until Sunshine Dizon’s character was introduced. She was the only, and I repeat, only thing to watch out for in this movie. She’s intense, she’s fresh and she’s adroit. I know she’s good but I never thought she can pull off a role as taxing as this one. And her rape scene (now, someone will go see the movie) was just powerful, it was the most emotive part of the movie. I could have given them an A+ for that scene alone but I’m not stupid (like most of the people who watched this movie, emphasis on most).

If you’ll ask me about the story, it was almost good, the oddness of the character is a really nice thing to delve into, and it is one of the most unique characters ever made (according to the katutz beside me who asked her day off to be today just to see her idol;s movie, how touching---not!). Now here comes the big but ( I ), the screenplay was just abysmal. This one I barely expected (but I surely hoped for) coming from a writer such as Ricky Lee (HA! Even the good ones get rotten sometimes). And for that I stripped Joel from all his faults in making this movie. Let’s blame the writers who just happen to be so ambitious in pulling such a hard project off. The director was just doing his job, making sure his actors are well made-up; the lights are good; and every crewmember was fed well.

Okay, you got me; I hate Joel’s direction. It was just so not him. I’ve seen his movies and this one was mishandled (and that’s understating it, oh, I used it twice already bet you thought I didn’t noticed that). His shots were peculiar; the phasing was most of the time, ah, baffling. I don’t know what he took but he shouldn’t have taken it. I don’t know where he’ll be going after this one, but I’m sure as hell wish he ain’t trying to do something like this one again.

But that’s not the most terrible part of this movie. What really almost drove me to insanity was the editing. If she’s attempting to make a new style (I ain’t naming names--so not me!), I say she quit her job and sell kamote in the Farmers (at least it’s a market, not palengke). I was on the verge of slitting my wrist because of the editing. It’s one of the worst editing I’ve ever seen (I can’t remember the others, but I’ll remember this one).

If you guys are planning to see this movie just because there’s no foreign films shown today in the cinemas of Manila; or because you found the trailer interesting; or you just simply want to see Juday show her fats on her chest side (cmon admit it) or if you’re a woman, you just admire her deep down, I say you get yourself a knife and just slit your pet’s wrist, that eccentricity, is much, much acceptable.

*The use of the terms katutz is not intended to dehumanize…. just to debase them, to put them in their place…. (just kidding!!!)
*the author has no personal anger with Juday, he just find her baduy like most of the right-minded individuals in this country

Ladykillers (or should i say viewer killer)

Title:
LadyKillers
Actors:
Tom Hanks, Jema P. Hall, Marlon Wayans
Writer/Director:
Ethan and Joel Coen

The greatest criminal minds……… whatever!!!

I departed the world of wizardry and annoying enunciation (and so I thought), this time, I’m taking into account an edgy dark comedy. That was right before I saw the movie. No magic but far more irritating brogue.

The Coen brothers are back from the hell they came from and brought with them a remake of a 19 something comedy. Set in 19 something, this 19 something comedy made by this never heard directors (at least for me) is bound to make you laugh.

Prof. G. H. Roff (Tom Hanks) was an unexplored, undeveloped main character. They didn’t take the time to show where he came from, who he truly is, of all of the characters, he was the one who’s not given a good background. It wasn’t explained as to how he knew about the casino. And that is poor scriptwriting.

However, they were able to develop the emotional and mental aspect of the characters and blend it with comedy.

It was predictable which usually is a bad thing but in this case I thought it worked for them, cuz they prepare the audience from laughing and it adds more giggle.

If you don’t consider English as your primary language (that includes you, you and me) better walk away from this movie because the only thing missing here is a Southern accent and it would have become a frigging feast. It has the “mate” and the “dog” and if you ain’t feeling them yah all should just step back, yah know what I’m sayin.

If you watch English movies as much as flossing, yah better see this movie twice cause you’ll miss a whole lot stuff from laughing your head off.

*if you’re wondering why it’s very short, I’ve already made a long one but I wasn’t able to save it, and I’m tired…

that's all for now.... thanx for reading... don't forget to send comments, suggestion, they're very much welcome...

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban aka Horny Peter

Title:
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (A)
Actors:
Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emily Watson, Gary Oldman, Maggie Smith, Emma Thompson
Writer/Director:
Steve Kloves / Alfonso Cuaron

“I solemnly swear that I’m up to no good”
WOW!!! The spell does work!!! Now you obtain another copy of my astounding work. (rubbish!) The POTTER is back DIGGING UP stories regarding his past, present and perfect tenses, and this is an ultimate bolt from the blue---- his friends are back with him as well.
Hermione (Emily Watson), the I-raise-my-hand-so-call-me-if-you-don’t-I’ll-answer-anyway girl, starts to wear tight jeans (she’s an Olsen triplet). Ron (Rupert Grint) the guy who heaved the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen is as geeky as ever and our favorite wiz (Cheese) Harrry Pattah starts to look just like me (rubbish!).
With a new director, a new Dumbledore and a bunch of veterans trying to revive their career, this is set to be the most exciting house gardener movie ever (or so they say).
Joey Potter (Katie Holmes, dumbass!!!) has seen it and she said that they’re not related. (totally rubbish!!!)
Just like every social climber on earth (all Pinoy artistas included), I was fervently waiting for the screening of this movie cuz it’s what every Star Wars freako and book junkies will be talking about and I need to write something that people can relate to, and people will see, even if they don’t understand it (may intelligence be with you). Just for the sake of they saw it (this ain’t rubbish!!!). And a wizard film is definitely something to see.
I was enthralled by how people were captivated from the very beginning of the movie… it felt like no one’s moving and all eyes are on the screen (except for me, I was checking somebody out). It completely set the viewers frame of mind like you’re in a new veracity.
The photography and cinematography was just outright brilliant. What a feast for the eyes. The sound is good. The editing was not that first-rate, it was average. A couple of scenes were not properly captured, one of which is the scene where Harry and Hermione battles their way in to the moving tree (this is authentic). That was shoddy handling of the lenses (okay, I’m being serious now), which can be more of the director’s fault but I admired Alfonso Cuaron’s attempt to make the movie far more daring than before (okay, I just officially became boring). The biggest challenge for him is to make the movie as appealing as the book and be better than the first two installments. I have no idea about the former (cuz I haven’t read the book, I’m a moviegoer not a bookworm) but about the latter, well, it may not be the best one, but it passed with painted colors (colors don’t fly).

During the entire first half of the movie, it was amazing. You’ll ohh and ahhh and yeah but right into the meeting Serious Black (Gary Oldman) scene it was incomprehensible, too many things happened, too many words were said and there’s just way too much accent!!! It’s bad enough that they were throwing lines after lines but their accent adds more to the bewilderment. The kids lost interest; I on the other hand, found it amusing (I was like watching the 3 stooges). The longhaired, the fat hobbit and the almost bunot haired man were all there. (rubbish). But what they bloody hell where they thinking, the mood change, it wasn’t properly fed to the audience, I don’t know, maybe it was the phasing, or it’s just how the story really goes, I don’t know but I wasn’t please and I’m utterly sure most of the people weren’t (oopsy daisy!!!).

This seem to be a common problem with the Potter movies, when it shifts into a very serious mode, it starts to lose its viewers. It’s very enjoyable, funny and just simply captivating during the first half then, suddenly the atmosphere changes and it’s screwed.
What’s wrong? (well, I dunno ask them.)

The characters were not much explored, except Harry’s. One character that I found truly inconsistent in this series, is Draco Malfoy, he starts to be too girly. And the acting well, not something you should look forward to, it isn’t really much of a craft movie. One example, the outburst scene was just ugly; it was Radcliffe’s time to show some real acting skills aside from riding brooms with a harness in front of a green wall. And he wasn’t able to do so. Severus Snape (who seemed to have serious hair problems) is just nauseating. I can’t stand him. But if it’s any consolation, Radcliffe more often than not, was convincing. He’s like breathing the character’s air.

The visual effects is amazing, by far the best among the series but once again, the clothing remains during the transformation into a man from hairy doggy, yah it’s a kid’s movie but as I’ve said some a little valor will be nice. I think the first Potter movie still stands as the scale, the best one so far, this one comes in second, and the chamber of garbage is the worst (rubbish!)

Out of the many summer movies, I’ve seen this year; this goes second best. If you’re a Potter fan, you’ve read each 5 books more than 3 times, well, all I can say is---- get a life!!! You bloody scumbag!!! (rubbish!!!)
And the wizard’s tale shall now be concealed….