Panaghoy sa Suba (Cry of the River) --- overflowing with discontent

Title:
Panaghoy sa Suba {Cry of the River} (B)
PH Release Date:
December 25, 2004
Actors:
Cesar Montano, Juliana Palermo, Jacky Woo, Rebecca Lusterio, Daria Ramirez, Joel Torre
Director:
Cesar Montano
Story:
Cesar Montano
Music:
Nonong Buencamino
Cinematography:
Ely Cruz
Producer:
Sunshine Cruz-Montano, Cesar Montano et al.
Studio:
CM Films

“Ambot sa imo….. daghang salamat..” – from a crazy lad who knows no Visaya
When I first heard the entries for this year’s MMFF, I promised myself that I will see this movie whatever it takes (Actually I didn’t I just need something to start with). Despite my hectic schedule, I found time to go to the cinema and experience my first Visayan culture encounter outside of Luneta.

Set in the early 1940’s at Central Visayas, the movie follows the life of Duroy, a boatman who took the role of a father since their dad left. His mother became ill and he’s left with the task of providing for their family. Years have passed and Duroy and his brother were all grown-up, Duroy fell in love with Iset, who’s also the apple of his brother’s eye. One day, Mr. Smith (Iset’s American suitor and boss) found her and Duroy’s brother talking, it led to the termination of the brother who then sought revenge but found himself killed by the American. A lot of things happen and I’m going crazy trying to tell them so I’ll stop now….

Let’s begin rampaging this movie from its title. Panaghoy sa Suba when translated in English should be the Cry in the River. Instead, they chose Cry of the River which when translated to Tagalog, it’s Panaghoy ng Suba. A little crazy thing I failed to notice but someone mentioned it to me….

Moving on, I had high expectations from this movie. Being a period movie and all, I was looking for something really enthralling and intriguing. They were able to present that for the first 20-30 minutes of the film but after which, as the conflict arises, my patience was slowly pushed into the boiling point.

The story is nothing new. It’s conflict-filled that’s what best describes it. It would have been very good if it was written as a novel. With all the subplots, which were all resolved, it will stand as good novel. However, as a movie it needs a lot more improving.
I was bemused when I found out that it won for Best Screenplay, cuz if there’s something I spurn on this movie, it’s the screenplay. It’s not bad but it just wasn’t that smoothly done. There were too many subplots, each of them spurring out one after the other without the former being resolved. And when they began the resolution, you’re just too blemished from all the negativity that you fail to appreciate its logic anymore.

Cesar Montano, as a director needs a lot of improvement. There were tons of crazy shots that I can’t even begin to describe. The cinematography was certainly not above average and it was like back to the 80’s cinematography in a lot of ways. The music was good, but the direction, man, you’ll notice how amature he is. That’s why I can’t believe he won against Joel or how this movie won Best in Cinematography, I’m puzzled.

Cesar Montano as the actor in this movie, he was great. I truly believe he deserves to win Best Actor. Juliana was good enough, she surpassed my expectations but she still needs a lot of work. Rebecca, now how shall I put this, I don’t like her acting. I loved her in Muro-Ami as the young autistic girl but in this movie she was so sloppy. I stand by my belief that Iza Calzado deserves the Best Supporting Actress award.

Overall, it was disappointing. I was really hoping for this groundbreaking movie that will define moviemaking, the only thing it was close to defining was the Visayan Language. It was a film entangled with too much subplots and unsure of what it wanna be. It’s not a war film, it’s not a romantic movie, it’s not a self-discovery film, it’s not a family movie, it’s none of that type, it’s somewhere in between of all of that.

I recommend this film to everyone, simply because nobody’s watching it. No, seriously, a full-length film in a Visayan language is worth the watch. It’s a different experience. Aside from the fact that it’s in a way a support to brave moviemakers, despite its unsatisfying outcome, the balls to release something like this needs great acknowledgment. Hopefully, in the next brave attempts, it will truly be something not to cry a river about.

MMFF 2004 results....

It’s the moment of truth, we shall now find out whether my fearless predictions actually transpired or didn’t. If my personal favorites walk with the award and my personal biases get through with the committee. It’s time to see how good Mother Lily’s PR went. Hey, this is plain humor so don’t you go sue me for libel ahehe..

If you’ve been watching or just plain observing the previous MMFF awards, it is quite noticeable that it is one of the, if not the most informal awards committee one will ever see. For example, in the different acting categories, as long as you’re a part of the movie even if all you did was stretch some arms while singing, you get a nomination. I mean, c’mon how low are their standards? And they don’t even no in what category the actors ought to be in. Actors who played a SUPPORTING ROLE are not supposed to be nominated in the LEAD role category and vice-versa. Just like the ONLI IN DA PILIPINS category Best Child Actor you can’t possibly find Eddie Garcia there. Just doesn’t fit. I hope next time will be different… AS IF….

Enough drama let’s kick things off with the first category on my list…


Best Supporting Actress:

Who might win:
Yasmien Kurdi for Happy Together
Who should win:
Iza Calzado for Sigaw
Who will win:
Iza Calzado
Who won:
Rebecca I-forget-her-surname

Shocked and bewildered, that’s how I reacted. I saw the movie and I’m telling you she wasn’t that promising. Yeah, she was great in Muro Ami and all but this is a different movie, her acting is too immature but then again what does she know when it comes to acting? The committee must have thought that she’s acting as the uneasy timid girl in the movie well, FYI: she wasn’t….

Best Supporting Actor:

Who might win:
Jay Manalo for Mano Po 3
Who should win:
Dennis Trillo or Jomari Yllana (a toughie)
Who will win:
Jomari Yllana
Who won:
Dennis Trillo (I knew it will come down bet. the two)

First, why is Jomari Yllana nominated for Best Actor in a lead role? Since when did Richard Gutierrez became the support in SIGAW? This shit’s crazy… but I was really hoping that Dennis wins, he’s one of the most underrated young actors around unlike some overly-trying-hard-to-speak-in-English lads, he’s pretty natural and a lot more real….

Best Story:

Who might win:
Aishite Imasu 1941
Who should win:
Panaghoy sa Suba
Who will win:
Mano Po 3
Who won:
Mano Po 3 (next……)

Okay, I would have said it’s undeserving if I haven’t saw Panaghoy sa Suba, but since I already did and this one I haven’t seen, let’s just say I’m cutting them some slack…. Who said I’m bias?????? Oh, right I did….

Best Screenplay:

Who might win:
Aishite Imasu 1941
Who should win:
Panaghoy sa Suba
Who will win:
Mano Po 3
Who won:
Panaghoy sa Suba (best picture’s coming…)

Honestly, this is the one of the few things I resent about the movie… if they got the trophy for Best Story I wouldn’t mind but this one..hmmm… making me think twice about seeing Mano Po….

Best Actress:

Who might win:
Judy Ann Santos for Aishite Imasu 1941
Who should win:
Vilma Santos for Mano P 3
Who will win:
Vilma Santos
Who won:
Vilma Santos (almost a grandslam…)

Need I say more???????????

Oh, just one thing, ONLI IN DA PILIPINS that you find an award show where this trophy is given last. According to the book of right-way-of-giving-movie-awards the Best Picture is supposed to be the highest honor the body can give, so the best should always be save for last... I guess not here… hai….

Best Actor:

Who might win:
Christopher de Leon for Mano Po 3
Who should win:
Cesar Montano
Who will win:
Cesar Montano
Who won:
Christopher de Leon (what the!!!!!!!????????)

My Biggest Disappointment, though I recognize Christopher as a brilliant actor, I really think Cesar deserves this one more. Never mind the next award, he should have won this….

Best Director:

Who might win:
Joel Lamangan (lost thrice in one sitting)
Who should win:
Cesar Montano for Panaghoy sa Suba
Who will win:
Joel Lamangan (sure shot!)
Who won:
Cesar Montano (biggest surprise!)

When I said Cesar should win, it was because I knew he wouldn’t win, but when he actually did win, I knew he didn’t deserve it. No offense, for a rookie he did well but Joel Lamangan despite being overrated deserves this award more than anybody else. Cesar’s young and Joel is gay (irrelevant), he’ll have more chances to direct (what a logic)! I’m sleepy I’m sorry…

Best Picture:

Who might win:
Aishite Imasu 1941 (3rd Best Picture)
Who should win:
Panaghoy sa Suba (2nd Best Picture)
Who will win:
Mano Po 3 (Best Picture)
Who won:
Mano Po 3 (told yah)

I saw that coming with my eyes closed. They can give any other awards to the 7 movies left but this one’s going home to Lily. This kid ain’t going nowhere but to her. I will not say that it does not deserve it because I have not seen it, but let’s just say that politics is everywhere (WOW!)

PS.. I’m writing this in my new essay but I thought it’s worth mentioning, we’re not just the most irregular award-giving nation but we also have the rudest award show audience around. The show aint’ over yet and everybody’s leaving already. A unique Filipino virtue... how splendid….

FEARLESS FORECAST: the 2004 MMFF AWARDS NIGHT

After my judgment of the movies based (not solely) on their trailers, now it’s time to be more prejudice by giving you my daring assumptions this coming awards night of the Metro Manila Film Festival. Be informed that the nominees for one single category can be as many as 10 or so. If you don’t agree with my choices, well it’s your call, we will see how much of my guess is precise tomorrow…. In the meantime…. Enjoy….

Best Picture:
Who might win:
Aishite Imasu 1941
Who should win:
Panaghoy sa Suba
Who shouldn’t win:
Enteng Kabisote Okay ka Fairy ko: The Legend
Who will win:
Mano Po 3

Best Director:
Who might win:
Joel Lamangan
Who should win:
Cesar Montano
Who shouldn’t win:
Tony Reyes
Who will win:
Joel Lamangan

Best Director:
Who might win:
Aishite Imasu 1941
Who should win:
Panaghoy sa Suba
Who shouldn’t win:
Lastikman
Who will win:
Mano Po 3

Best Screenplay:
Who might win:
Aishite Imasu 1941
Who should win:
Panaghoy sa Suba
Who shouldn’t win:
Enteng Kabisote Okay ka Fairy ko: The Legend
Who will win:
Mano Po 3

Best Actor:
Who might win:
Christopher de Leon
Who should win:
Cesar Montano
Who shouldn’t win:
Mark Bautista
Who will win:
Cesar Montano

Best Actress:
Who might win:
Judy Ann Santos
Who should win:
Vilma Santos
Who shouldn’t win:
Sarah Geronimo
Who will win:
Vilma Santos

Best Supporting Actor:
Who might win:
Jay Manalo
Who should win:
Dennis Trillo or Jomari Yllana
Who shouldn’t win:
Oyo Boy Sotto
Who will win:
Jomari Yllana

Best Supporting Actress:
Who might win:
Yasmie Kurdi
Who should win:
Iza Calzado
Who shouldn’t win:
I have no idea
Who will win:
Iza Calzado

Comments and violent reactions are very welcome… post or tag one…

MMFF 2004

Many believe that one have no right to say that a movie sucks or otherwise unless they’ve seen it. Well, that applies to most, but not to me…ahehe… just kidding’ remember that these rating and reviews are purely based on the trailers and nothing else…. This is my answer to the irresistible demand from some of my fans…. Wahah


Title:
Aishite Imasu (A)
Verdict:
Must-see!!!!
PH Release Date:
December 25, 2004
Actors:
Judy Ann Santos, Raymart Santiago, Dennis Trillo, Jay Manalo
Director:
Joel Lamangan
Studio:
Vic Sotto

The first of the three movies this festival from acclaimed but seemingly overrated director Joel Lamangan. It’s him and Sabel teaming up once more in what hopefully is not a disaster like the MFF entry last June. It’s a period movie of epic proportions and I say for Dennis Trillo’s performance alone, this movie’s a must-see!

Title:
Enteng Kabisote, Okay ka Fairy Ko: The Legend (C)
Verdict:
Bad… bad… and I saw it!!!
PH Release Date:
December 25, 2004
Actors:
Vic Sotto, Kristine Hermosa, Oyo Boy Sotto, Aiza Seguerra, Michael V., Bing Loyzaga, G. Toengi
Director:
Tony Reyes
Studio:
Octo-Arts and M-Zet

See the article after this feature…………

Title:
Happy Together (B+)
Verdict:
A mediocre with good potential
PH Release Date:
December 25, 2004
Actors:
Kris Aquino, Eric Quizon, Starstruck Final Four
Director:
Joel Lamangan
Studio:
Vic Sotto

You know how I love and hate Kris Aquino at the same time, I’m hearing good buzz about the movie, but this sorta Next Best Thing meets Will and Grace movie may just be another one of those overly publicized flick which do not deliver. Let’s all hope that Kris’ endorsers will not be visible in this movie cuz if they are, that’s it….

Title:
Lastikman: Unang Banat (B-)
Verdict:
No-brainer!
PH Release Date:
December 25, 2004
Actors:
Mark Bautista, Sarah Geronimo, Cherie Gil, Danilo Barrios
Director:
Mac Alejandre
Studio:
Viva

Two years ago, this same character grossed P9M on its opening day, will this remake be able to cash in the same money? I don’t think so. Viva does have the balls and the stupidity to pursue this project. C’mon isn’t it too early for another stretching man on the screen? Though Mrs. Incredible is technically not a man, a singing elastic being is definitely not my idea of great fantasy film. And for those who will see it, tell me if Jabee made an appearance, that, I’m betting my money on…

Title:
Mano Po 3: My Love (A-)
Verdict:
A star for this season
PH Release Date:
December 25, 2004
Actors:
Vilma Santos, Christopher de Leon, Eddie Garcia, Boots Anson-Roa, Jay Manalo et al.
Director:
Joel Lamangan
Studio:
Regal

The last and may be the biggest of this saga promise great acting feats and a unique look on a conservative nationality. The two first movies were both successful and I love the second installment which Erik Matti directed. Joel is once again behind the movie like the first time but will he be able to make it interesting despite its redundant feel?

Title:
Panaghoy sa Suba (A+)
Verdict:
Ballsy…. A must-see
PH Release Date:
December 25, 2004
Actors:
Cesar Montano, Julianna Palermo et al.
Director:
Cesar Montano
Studio:


One thing I greatly admire with moviemakers is their courage to gamble. Cesar Montano does something nobody has done for at least a decade and does it so well. I’ve seen a couple of good shots and I hope his valor will be recognized. I’m praying it ain’t pure distinctiveness but no substance cuz that’ll be such a pity. For those who will see it, I salute you, 2 hours of pure Bisayan language is a pure ordeal but then again go to Luneta on Sundays and you can experience the same thing… (spank me!)

Title:
Sigaw (A)
Verdict:
Scream your way to the moviehouse!
PH Release Date:
December 25, 2004
Actors:
Richard Gutierrez, Angel Locsin, Jomari Yllana, Iza Calzado
Director:
Yam Laranas
Studio:
Vic Sotto

From the maker of tragic Hible comes this movie of great visual quality. And the acting is not too far behind. I’m impressed with the trailer of this movie. from what I see, this is bound to be better than Feng-Shui. Let’s all hope the story’ s as interesting as it looks and it could put up with the hype. Jomari Yallana delivers a groundbreaking performance.

Title:
Spirit of the glass (B-)
Verdict:
Leave the glass behind
PH Release Date:
December 25, 2004
Actors:
Rica Paralejo, Dingdong Dantes, Marvin Agustin, Alessandra de Rossi, Paolo Contis
Director:
Jose Javier Reyes
Studio:
Canary
After the surprise success of Malikamata last MMFF, here comes a by-product from the copious imagination of Reyes. However, I doubt that it’s in anyway as interesting as the entry above and may just end up as another scary movie without substance… but then again what do you expect?

Enteng Kabisote, Okay ka Fairy ko: The Forgettable Legend

Title:
Enteng Kabisote, Okay ka Fairy Ko: The Legend (C)
PH Release Date:
December 25, 2004
Actors:
Vic Sotto, Kristine Hermosa, Oyo Boy Sotto, Aiza Seguerra, Michael V., Bing Loyzaga, G. Toengi, Ruby Rodriguez, Jose Manalo
Director:
Tony Reyes
Producer:
Vic Sotto
Studio:
Octo-Arts and M-Zet



"Although it’s true that comedy films are unlikely to win Best Picture, Actor or Actress, I always ensure that mine have good values to impart to kids"
– Vic Sotto

These words may be true but I doubt that it is enough for me to consider this movie good. The dull storyline, the bad direction and the awful casting just made this movie the biggest ruse I’ve seen this year.

Satana (Loyzaga), queen of darkness, sent her agents to earth to carry out her evil plans but her celebration was cut short when the agents of Enkantasya stopped them. Fiery and seeking revenge, she spills her wrath on the Kabisotes. Enteng (V. Sotto) must now find a way to save his wife Faye (Hermosa), the daughter of Ina Magenta (Toengi) who holds the power Satana greatly desires. Before he does he must first successfully pass the path to Kadiliman together with his son Onyok (O. Sotto) and Itim (Michael V), who used to be Satana’s right hand. Will Enteng be able to arrive just in time to save Faye and stop the queen’s evil plans?

This by-product of the phenomenal TV show during the 90’s has a really promising trailer. This lured me into watching the movie, which my basic instinct told me to stay clearly out of. And just like I expected, the comedic scenes I saw in the full trailer were almost exactly just the same scenes you can find in the entire movie. And it’s no longer as funny, because I’ve heard and seen them before.

The movie was friggin’ tiring!!! Dragging and completely exhausting!!! The pacing was so slow that you’ll consider riding a kiddie bike the ultimate rush! It was going nowhere. They kept on introducing the characters that the audience ended up not really knowing who these characters were. They dwelled too much on the superfluous comedy that they ended up losing their audience. They inhabited the nonsense drama, which made it far more crazy and exasperating.

The direction can be simply describe as an ambitious visual attempt that lead to the crash of a could have been better storytelling. Yeah, motion-control camera does wonder on the screen but how come it seemed to have been unable to save this falling legend? The storytelling is like relevant clauses inside a complex sentence without conjunction to connect them.

Another major oops in this movie was the casting. Who the hell thought of casting Kristine Hermosa as a 30+ woman???? And how stupid can this actress get to actually accept such a role? The next thing you know she’s playing Cory Aquino on her 50’s. What, is she running out of offers? Is she just such a huge fan of the series that she’ll play anyone even if that means being a mother to someone almost her age, just to be a part of it??? And she’s not the only one who seemed to have been adrift, who the f*** hired G. Toengi thinking to play the role of Ina Magenta? I mean, c’mon she’s stealing jobs from Nova Villa and the like. Is Hollywood just to hard for Toengi to penetrate that she’ll play the non penetratable (if there is such a term)? I just don’t get these casting mishaps. I just don’t!

The visual is the only saving grace of this movie. Without it, the producers can say bye-bye to their P35M and cry their way to the new year. One of Jeffrey Quizon’s scenes was very impressive that I thought might just be the start of a really good movie experience. Though I can frankly say that the movie’s visual effects is still behind Charmed’s, I just won’t, to give this movie some undeserved credit.

If you’re a Filipino, delimited by the OPM (Original Pinoy Movies) around you, be smart enough to take my advice: Stay Away from this Movie!!!! It’s enough that you know a lot of kiddo’s or family will opt to see this movie. Be not one of those thinking being who’ll make such an obvious mistake of seeing this one. I believe it is necessary that we support Filipino movies, so go ahead and watch something else. There are 7 more to choose from and hopefully they’re not magically cursed like this one.

The Polar Express --- a holiday train wreck

Title:
The Polar Express (B-)
PH Release Date:
November 24, 2004
Actors:
Tom Hanks, Daryl Sabara, eddie Deezen, Nona Gaye
Musical Appearance:
Steven Tyler
Director:
Robert Zemeckis
Based on the book:
“The Polar Express” by Chris Van Allsburg
Screenwriters:
Robert Zemeckis and William Broyles Jr.
Composer:
Alan Silvestri
Cinematographer:
Don Burgess
Producers:
Gary Goetzman, Robert Zemeckis et al.
Studio:
WB



“… it doesn’t matter where you’re going, what matter is deciding to get on”

Okay, I guess you’re wondering why my tagline is so profound. Well, it’s hopefully where I am heading with my writing, plus, it’s the holiday season. The need to share some love and peace is compulsory. Discarding the fact that I love that line so much I can give this movie an A+ for it alone. But of course, as always, the unforgettable line won’t save this movie from the train wreck it’s bound to be.



Santa is the icon of Christmas for children. He is the icon for the boy who awaits his coming during Christmas Eve for his present and for the sheer glimpse of him. But this boy is about to experience his greatest journey in life. A mystifying train suddenly appeared in the middle of the road and its aim is to reach the North Pole, where Santa is residing, before midnight. Struck by curiosity, the boy joined the group and experienced the dream he considers a reality.

Robert Zemeckis and Tom Hanks joined forces once more, this time for a Holiday offering from the widely popular children’s book. The two have great chemistry where Castaway and Forrest Gump came about. These two movies garnered high accolades and established both of them as sorta pillars in moviemaking, especially when they’re working together. Expectations were high. Sadly, the train seemed to have traveled the wrong rail.

I have not read the book (that’s a shock), but I could say that it truly was a children’s book, only that it’s much more depressing, dull and slow. I do not know what kind of pacing it was but it was bad. The writers oh so perversely try to dig deeper to the boy’s character while simply giving hints of the holiday values. What’s funny is that the only thing it emanated from me was unadulterated annoyance.



It showed nothing but the utter stupidity of the main character. It lacked about a barrel of coal realism and it’s sick humor deserves to be flushed out faster than a fat man’s stool (eew!!!). The only time I thought this moviee was actually a holiday movie was when two of the children sung “When Christmas comes to town”. I eagerly awaited for another doze of it the rest of the time but nada. That scene was so perfect, brilliantly executed and the beauty of the song is exquisite.

One thing undeniably exemplary here were the visuals. It was so beautiful. I think this has been the closest CGI has ever been to humanness. A little more time and they could come up with a real life CGI version of Madam Auring, which I doubt will look human as well. Is she even human? Moving on, I think this is where they concentrated more and less with the story. I honestly believe this is the only reason why it reached the $100M mark, aside from the fact that it’s one of the very few G rated movies shown around.

Tom Hanks did well playing almost half of the cast. This is his movie. It’s all about him. The kids were good as well, not that I see them act in any way but they’re voices were good enough.

This movie is best seen inside an IMAX theater while you’re suffering from total deafness. Though the sound of the movie was great, you might not be able to handle some of the lines. Not to mention, quite a number of scenes that made me squirm and forced me on the verge of walking out. This movie will be great for kids, just watch out for their falling heads. I just think kids are smarter now and they recognize a genuinely enjoying movie from nothing but an eye candy.

The National Treasure--- Discover… take pleasure, but don’t treasure!

Title:
National Treasure (B+)
PH Release Date:
November 24, 2004
Actors:
Nicolas Cage, Diane Kruger, Jason Bartha, Sean Bean, Jon Voight, Harvey Keitel, Christopher Plummer
Director:
Jon Turteltaub
Story & Screenplay:
Ted Elliott, Teri Rossio et al.
Cinematographer:
Caleb Deschanel
Composer:
Trevor Rabin
Producer:
Jerry Bruckheimer, Jon Turteltaub and Christina Steinberg
Studio:
Walt Disney

It is the greatest treasure of our time, well, their time; ours will be the likes of Mystica and Madam Auring…extremely rare tour

The first time I saw the trailer of this movie, I thought Jerry Bruckheimer seemed to be losing his ability to choose the right project to finance. After the disappointing returns of King Arthur, he chose an obsolete formula and an odd actor to play the lead. I mean, c’mon, who’s gonna watch Nicolas Cage try to unearth some stupid treasure that we already know he’ll locate at the end of the movie? That’s like asking Paris Hilton to play a Sissy Spacek role. Just doesn’t fit! Alas, he proved me wrong (damn him!). As of this writing, the movie earned a little more than $132M. That’s way more than I projected. I guess sometimes, what you think of others may not be right. So believe me when I say that Madam Auring really had a miscarriage at the age of 112 (my fascination with the woman really shows and it is sickening!!!!)

Benjamin Gates (Cage) has been given the challenge to find the greatest treasure their family has been trying to discover for decades. The clue that they thought would bring them right to the treasure was just the first clue to a wide variety awaiting them in their journey. He’ll uncover the hidden hints situated in some of the significant places and articles in the history of the US. Will he be able to find the treasure before his ex huntmate on his trail get there first? Or will the FBI get to him first? (Don’t act as if you don’t know what’s going to happen!)

The best word to describe this movie is amusing. It is not interesting but it’s enjoyable. It’s predictable and at times corny, but you get pleasure from those silly jokes and scenes. It’s a formula treasure-hunting movie! Jon Turteltaub did and gave nothing innovative. It was like a collaboration of different old action movie scenes, a little bit of asinine comedy and a regular dose of moviemaking.

This movie is anything but unique. It offered nothing new. Cage acts as the lead character. He’s smart, not fat and in his mid-life crisis. He also have to appear as if he never dates, in that way, after he rub elbows with the leading lady, the utcome is justified. This lead character must have his right-hand with the heartthrob looks that matches his quirky personality and he’s also gotta be very good with computers or at times guns and explosives. Then of course, the hot looking urbane woman to play the overachiever damsel in distress. The antagonist must be some rich bastard, willing to do anything to get the treasure… and this time he’s British. And lastly, the compassionate police officer who’ll catch the protagonist eventually, but let him slide in the end.

Directing is nothing special. The pacing though was very good, they make it a point that in each scene, the audience will laugh or be excited. What made the movie a little smart is that it ensures that you have no time to think things through. They won’t allow you to stop for awhile. They were able to achieve that for more than 2 hours. If not for that, this movie would have slumped.

I used to hate (oh, it’s such a sturdy word, let’s try despise) Nicolas Cage until Adaptation and Matchstick men, simply because I don’t like the way he looks. He gives the impression of being like a member of the Simpsons or some near cousin of Spongebob. It’s a good thing Dian Kruger and Jason Bartha were there to serve as eye-candies. Nothing much to ponder with when it comes to the acting. Let’s just say it’s not the movie with the most challenging roles an actor can encounter.

The ending of the movie ain’t surprising at all but there was part in there that I found good. Won’t spoil it but let’s just say theer was no duel or fist combat. It’s a fun movie that will allow you to not be a viewer but a tourist. It’s formula, but it’s right down the money. Better viewed with friends or a date. It’s not something to value but it’s something to talk about.

Birth... of Bad Art Films.

Title:
Birth (B-.... almost C+)
PH Release Date:
December 8, 2004
Actors:
Nicole Kidman, Cameron Bright, Danny Houston, Lauren Bacall, Allison Elliot, Anne Heche
Director:
Jonathan Glazer
Story & Screenplay:
Jean Claude-Carrere et al.
Editor / Music:
San Sneade Elal / Alexandre Desplat
Design / Photography:
Kevin Thompson / Harris Savides
Producer:
Jean-Loius Piel and Nick Morris
Studio:
New Line Cinema

She wished her husband would come back from the dead. Now he is back ß and this shit’s the most pathetic tagline I’ve ever read….

The controversy surrounding the movie drove me into watching it. Not that I regret seeing it because Nicole is in it, but I could have waited for the video instead. The poor production, poor direction, poor writing made this movie not more than poor at all.

Ana (Kidman) is a widow who’s ready to move on to a better life; an unsullied start with her fiancée until Sean came along. Sean was Ana’s beloved husband, but this Sean is a glum tiny boy who claims to be the re-embodiment of her late spouse. Ana’s deeming, her fiancée has gone berserk, her sister’s incredulous and everyone else is perplexed. Is Sean really Sean or is it nothing but a hoax marshaled by a feeble boy?

The trailer of this movie is very interesting, and the buzz that surrounds it convinced me even more to see it. Nicole Kidman on a hot tub with a little boy seemed to me a once in a lifetime movie spectacle. I was that excited that I was the first person inside the cinema on its opening day! Who said I lack enthusiasm? Only to find out, that it’ll sidle as one of the biggest disappointments this year.

One rule in moviemaking (as if I’ve taken any lesson) is to keep your audience thinking. Persist them to speculate. This movie failed to do that. It’s as predictable as Paris Hilton’s “that’s hot” or Melanie Marquez’s cerebrum malfunction. They present an idea and your initial guess will actually turn up accurate. It’s either the writing was really bad or I’m just really morphing into intellectual enormity. You pick the best answer.

An ultimate chestnut will best describe this movie for an art movie buff. The only novelty you’ll find is the concept, which I honestly thought is extremely hard to support. I suppose that’s why this movie failed oh so despondently. The idea is so delicate that the director was too timid to innovate or to experiment. He just resolute in keeping it as haunting, dark and gloomy as possible. And it did just that.

I am petrified by the unparalleled stupidity of the photographer of this movie. I have not seen that many boom mike in my entire movie career (keep that brow where it’s ought to be). A few minutes more and I could have considered it as a mere advertisement. Showing different sizes, shapes and even fur covers. And mind you, from time to time it’s in the entire scene as if it’s a crucial part of the act. In the latter part of this movie it became just that: the central theme of the whole scene, and the people anticipate for it’s next non-cameo appearance.

The only saving grace of this movie is the acting part. They’re fortunate that Nicole despite her status, accepted to wonderfully portray the woman in solitude and bewilderment. Though her acting ain’t as great as her Academy-Award winning portrayal of Virginia Woolf, it’s good enough for her to swipe a nod this year, but fellow Nicolettes, let’s not expect, keep in mind that we were snubbed last year. The kid, who at his very young age is typecast in ghost-related roles, gave a terrific, tremendously plausible depiction. Almost beating my favorite “Toshi-yo”!!! Anne Heche also featured some brilliance despite her fleeting stints.

As a fan of Nicole, see this movie simply because she is in it. Don’t expect great things from it; just enjoy her new “do”. For regular people (supersize included), before seeing it, make sure you are psychologically capable of accepting the fact that you threw away 70 pesos. If that won’t make you sleep at night, then stay away from this movie. It ain’t born for most people to see, and you seeing it, won’t pave way to the birth of good feedbacks…

Bridget Jones' Diary: The Edge of Reason for being a hopeless romantic

Title:
Bridget Jones’ Diary: The Edge of Reason (B+)
PH Release Date:
December 1, 2004
Actors:
Renee Zellwegger, Colin Firth, Hugh Grant, Jim Broadbent, Gemma Jones
Director:
Beebam Kidroa
Based on the novel by:
Helen Fielding
Screenplay:
Andrew Daniels, Helen Fielding and Richard Curtis
Design / Photography:
Gemma Jackson/ Adrian Biddle
Producer:
Adam Brooks and Tim Bewan
Studio:
UIP, Studio Canal, Miramax

Big Lawyer, Big Liar, BIG Bridget….

They’re all back and I’m just as excited to see this new installment of this woman’s misadventure. As expected I haven’t had the chance to read this book simply because I don’t like reading. But that doesn’t mean I can’t judge this movie even if I haven’t read the book (that sounded funnier in my head). After 54 (or maybe more than that) shags, Bridget finally thinks she’s found the right guy. The guy he can spend the rest of her carbo-full life with. And that guy is Mark Darcy (Firth), the almost perfect man who works as a human rights lawyer. Everything is seamless tetra pack until reality came knocking on Bridget’s door, carrying two people, Mark’s assistant and her almost perfect shag Hugh Grant (I can’t remember his name in this movie). Is Bridget going to end up with the hog raiser Mark? Or Hugh the butcher?

The first Bridget Jones’ movie was just plain funny and bloody brilliant. I fell in love with Renee’s character. I mean who wouldn’t be? She’s the absolute damsel in distress plus the hilarious antics. In this second installment, I didn’t fall out of love. In fact I even fell more in love with the character cuz it got more real than I possibly imagine.

Some may argue (as if I care) that this movie is just another tiring rom-com that does nothing but make people think that there’s a happily ever after waiting for all of us. Well it is not. And it was even shown in the movie. Bridget may have had a happy ending (oops, I slipped) but some of her elephantmate clearly didn’t. I love the way this movie was written. It wasn’t pretending to be anything than a romantic comedy, but it’s much deeper than that. It was funny and absolutely entertaining, but what makes it better is that it’s more relatable. Most of the things that happened to her are actually those that we experienced a month ago (okay, the sharing stops here).

The direction was good. In all technical aspects it was excellent. The production design helped a lot in radiating the emotions of the audience. It’s actually quite noticeable that there’s not much difference with its predecessor. Everything looked and felt unerringly the same.

Renee may not nab another Oscar nomination for this one but she did just as great. One thing I truly admire about her is how she’s able to change her size in a short period of time without dying. After she made the first movie, she had to be almost as anorexic as Mary Kate for her role in Chicago where she showed just how fatless she was during her famous mugshot (is this how u spell it) and Cold Mountain. And then she have to return to her full size again for this one. Honestly, Hugh Grant isn’t even half the talent Colin Firth is. Hugh was Hugh, I have not seen him in any movie where he actually acts. All he does is look cute, act cute (okay so he acts) as if he’s still cute with all his marks of being 40 hangin’ round his face. It’s such a pity that Colin is way too underrated as an actor, even in the billing he’s only third. Just proves how you can’t really have it all.

Overall it’s a perfect date movie, watching it alone will not be suicide but I’m telling you it won’t be as satisfying. It’s full of “kilig” moments best felt when your hand is on somebody else’s palm. I won’t say that it’s better than the first one, but I can tell you that this movie will convince you that there’s someone meant for you, maybe not as perfect as you think it is, and no matter what size they are they can still shag just as good. Aheheh…